My bed smells like naked
Haha. At least it doesn't smell like herpes
Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
so i was pissing and the phone rang but i forgot i was pissing so i just ran to answer the phone. it was too late when i realized
Santa Claus winked at me two tables over at the Chinese place tonight I was almost afraid he knew "getting laid" was my Christmas wish
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
Even my vagina gasped.
I let him do a line off my nipple in exchange for his prescription pain pills. I feel like 3/4 Vegas stripper, 1/4 underbelly of society.
That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
It looks like I murdered a care bear and put its blood in my hair to warn the others off.
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
Got robbed by an ATM. My weekend officially sucks.
You wanna know what I want to eat? Questionable Mexican food before I go drink. Makes for excitement. Will I puke it up or shit my pants
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
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