Betty ford says i'm here all night
dude, mark had the least successful cab ride in history last night. took a cab to the bars, stopped at every atm in the city, none worked, then had to come back to the party to beg for 20 to pay the taxi that officially took him nowhere.
so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
I hate cats. They're so curious, it's not their damn business.
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
after we had sex he went grocery shopping. at 6 am. i've never been more confused in my life
My walk of shame was far more interesting today. He's moving and was cleaning out his apartment, so not only was I carrying my clothes, I also walked away with 4 bottles of cheap wine and a jar of ragu.
Sweet. I'm actually coaching my work study into a 4-girl orgy so dinner was kinda important. Yes, I'm the best boss ever.
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
Pretty sure I sang "What Makes You Beautiful" to some random guy in a parking lot last night...
The best of us have puked in our office garbage cans. I just hope yours wasn't the metal mesh kind...and bagless like mine. Rock n roll office manager.
Would you like season tickets to my vagina?
Ask her if it hurt when she broke through earths crust as she ascended from hell
I just found a contact in my phone named "Nick from The Party". Who's nick?
Randomize
