Stop everything. They have oreo straws to drink milk with and then you eat the straw. I think i just got turned on by a cookie commercial.
we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.
I don't like finding out that my fuck buddy is a good person.
Saw someone get laid in the bathroom no one was wearing shoes and I had a parrot on my shoulder...I never want to leave this bar
I asked her to make me water, which in turn meant get me a glass. She handed me a cup of microwaved ice cubes.
Well would you like to come over anyway? I will be wearing sweatpants and disappointment. Also, I have Jack Daniels and I've managed to get drunk in under half an hour. But my boobs look awesome.
It was like the devil him self busted his red hot satanic nuts all over my face and burned my eyes out of my innocent sockets.
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
I'm disgusted with myself. Who goes down on their Uber driver? This asshole
Just got drunk at the Cheesecake Factory again. Made me think of you.
That's the nicest thing anyone's ever said to me.
Hey.. Lock your door. There's a drunk girl walking around in here. She just came in my room and peed on my chair.
He set the tone in the back of his car by blasting Marvin Gaye's sexual healing before railing me
we used a blowdryer last night to warm up our left over pizza..it worked perfectly at first..but then the chili powder got into his eyes..
Randomize
