I'll probably hate you when I'm sober
I just puked on my dog.I feel summer coming on
Her friend drew me a diagram of how we could get away with her giving me a blowjob at work.
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
And I was slip and sliding my life away on a giant tarp with tons of soap and bitches. Priorities man, priorities.
Hypothetical question. Say I was bleeding profusely, close to your house, and needed a place to go to clean up and perform minor surgery on myself. Like now.
if drunk means calling me and asking to borrow the game of life at 2am then I think you were drunk
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
OK. i'm going to add "riddle me this, brodawg" to the list of things i'm never gonna say to my boss again while i'm high.
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
What's your ideal size in a man?
I just asked if you could cover my shift tomorrow......
He claimed he was the best ass eater of the south. He was right.
I bought 10 disposable adhesive bras and duct tape. If Home Depot can't help my breasts defy gravity, nothing will...
LMAO
My loniness meter has reached its peak. I just played shadow puppets using my Big Mac on the wall with my cats
U just kept yelling her vagina wasn't a priority bc u had a bowl of cheerios calling your name
Randomize
