i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
he's my edward cullen
I am pretty sure Edward Cullen never had an all-day drinking binge topped off with some blow.
I totally give up. Optimus Prime just fell from the top of the Great Pyramid into the hypostyle hall at Karnak.
I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
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He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
He plays me like an instrument...he is the Carlos Santana of my vagina.
just 'accidentally' changed my relationship status to 'in an open relationship' just to see what offers I might get if I were to dump him. it's not looking good
I woke up to him using my debit card to order PPV porn and Jimmy Johns. I don't even know his name.
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
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I've literally already typed in by booty call text for friday night. all I have to do now is wait for is drunk me to press send
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
Dad is celebrating turning 45 by being drunk in a department store before two o'clock.
I got my gum stuck on his balls.
Dude she passed out on the floor so you covered her with a blanket to make sure "no one would notice her"
And when she started moving around and making noises you told everyone, "it's okay, it's just my roomba under there".......