Hey sorry for feelin' up your date. Sadly, this is a mass txt.
I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
I just figured I'd let u know that you bought a yacht on ebay last night
Peach margaritas. And fuck whatever you're about to say, the girl to guy ratio is like 6:1. I need those odds
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
Got a thumbs up from a trucker for doing lines on the interstate. God bless america.
If I ever die and svu has to come to my murder scene make sure they know I don't wear underwear always so it might not be as bad as they think
Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young?
Excuse me while I gouge out my eyes.
In which case my work here is done.
Double dirt bag award winner tonight. He picked me up in his wife's car.
This is the best thing we've done since that time we started a religion
Randomize
