I dreamt Michael Jackson dropped his pants in front of me and I had to ignore it.
My mouth tastes like defeat. Did he at least have money?
dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So im at the gym and some guy has a tattoo of a hand doing the shocker... The douche bag bar has been raised yet again.
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE.
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
These freshman guys were trying to holler at me from their window, and I realized about 20 minutes too late that the best possible reaction at that time would've been screaming "FLACCID PENIS". Oh, and I found this awesome zombie charm bracelet you would love.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You kept whispering to me that the guy making your burrito was an angel.
She bit my shoulder during foreplay last night, and it's already infected. I think she has rabies.
sober me is the one who makes bad decisions every boyfriend I've ever had I met sober
No biggie, just trying to keep my liver function in the green
Just escaped from the ER. Meet me at the bar in 20 minutes.
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
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