Texts From Last Night

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  (816): View more from Missouri

  I just met lou reed's venus in furs. Her hands are slippery.

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  (816): I just met lou reed's venus in furs. Her hands are slippery. http://tfl.nu/2bt2
  Replies (1) Good night (1157) Bad night (634)
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  (630): View more from Illinois

  I just walked by a homeless man reading the money section of USA Today...

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  (630): I just walked by a homeless man reading the money section of USA Today... http://tfl.nu/hrqr
  Replies (22) Good night (3011) Bad night (659)
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  (709): View more from Newfndlnd, Labradr

  so, i drunkenly called my religious roomie because i was lost and told her if she couldn't come find me, jesus would condemn her to hell for not leading me to the light .. too much?

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  (709): so, i drunkenly called my religious roomie because i was lost and told her if she couldn't come find me, jesus would condemn her to hell for not leading me to the light .. too much? http://tfl.nu/jwju
  Replies (23) Good night (7317) Bad night (1145)
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  (805): View more from California

  he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me

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  (805): he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me http://tfl.nu/6q8m
  Replies (18) Good night (778) Bad night (4162)
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  (207): View more from Maine

  Just bought lingerie with the intention of wearing it as a shirt. It's going to be that kind of weekend.

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  (207): Just bought lingerie with the intention of wearing it as a shirt. It's going to be that kind of weekend. http://tfl.nu/fufl
  Replies (13) Good night (6000) Bad night (1072)
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  (570): View more from Pennsylvania

  I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.

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  (570): I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up. http://tfl.nu/kls9
  Replies (14) Good night (1281) Bad night (4018)
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  (250): View more from British Columbia

  Seriously. He was just sitting there naked in the dark with a boner pissed that I came home late.

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  (250): Seriously. He was just sitting there naked in the dark with a boner pissed that I came home late. http://tfl.nu/oeer
  Replies (21) Good night (1411) Bad night (4942)
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  (219): View more from Indiana

  my mom was in labor with me for 32 hours, it's only fair to start drinking now.

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  (219): my mom was in labor with me for 32 hours, it's only fair to start drinking now. http://tfl.nu/o7hb
  Replies (10) Good night (2645) Bad night (987)
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  (519): View more from Ontario

  she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems

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  (519): she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems http://tfl.nu/ja9t
  Replies (13) Good night (3633) Bad night (909)
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  (720): View more from Colorado

  Like it was the Mama Mia of shit shows. That bad.

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  (720): Like it was the Mama Mia of shit shows. That bad. http://tfl.nu/6s4w
  Replies (4) Good night (662) Bad night (1073)
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  (+44): View more from United Kingdom

  He ate me out on the kitchen floor while we waited for the cake to bake. How was your Valentines Day?

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  (+44): He ate me out on the kitchen floor while we waited for the cake to bake. How was your Valentines Day? http://tfl.nu/3a44
  Replies (14) Good night (3590) Bad night (692)
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  (978): View more from Massachusetts

  do you remember in the middle of fleeing from the cops you stopped in the middle of the road to make out with quail man?

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  (978): do you remember in the middle of fleeing from the cops you stopped in the middle of the road to make out with quail man? http://tfl.nu/w8vx
  Replies (7) Good night (1466) Bad night (457)
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  (727): View more from Florida

  Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle

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  (727): Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle http://tfl.nu/kzpk
  Replies (7) Good night (534) Bad night (474)
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  (604): View more from British Columbia

  you showed up at my door at 3am, handed me a bag of cold chicken nuggets and said "lead me to the non-irish Siobhans," do YOU think you were tripping?

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  (604): you showed up at my door at 3am, handed me a bag of cold chicken nuggets and said "lead me to the non-irish Siobhans," do YOU think you were tripping? http://tfl.nu/kskl
  Replies (1) Good night (625) Bad night (338)
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  (647): View more from Ontario

  I just want to eat my penis shaped food in front of you and see how you feel about it.

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  (647): I just want to eat my penis shaped food in front of you and see how you feel about it. http://tfl.nu/st0x
  Replies (1) Good night (334) Bad night (144)

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