Texts From Last Night

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  (407): View more from Florida

  I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms

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  (407): I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms http://tfl.nu/rxh4
  Replies (5) Good night (768) Bad night (1148)
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  (812): View more from Indiana

  so... how was it???

  (317): View more from Indiana

  he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy

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  (812): so... how was it??? (317): he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy http://tfl.nu/a6k1
  Replies (14) Good night (650) Bad night (2982)
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  (817): View more from Texas

  matt is drinking blue powerade and it looks like he has hypothermia. i can't take this kid anywhere.

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  (817): matt is drinking blue powerade and it looks like he has hypothermia. i can't take this kid anywhere. http://tfl.nu/fb8z
  Replies (6) Good night (2351) Bad night (794)
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  (714): View more from California

  I need hand sanitizer and jesus.

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  (714): I need hand sanitizer and jesus. http://tfl.nu/r3xx
  Replies (15) Good night (2011) Bad night (2659)
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  (440): View more from Ohio

  oh vodka. i could write you a sonnet.

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  (440): oh vodka. i could write you a sonnet. http://tfl.nu/d9ji
  Replies (18) Good night (6141) Bad night (641)
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  (615): View more from Tennessee

  small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party

  (423): View more from Tennessee

  so no drinking for you?

  (615): View more from Tennessee

  don't be silly

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  (615): small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party (423): so no drinking for you? (615): don't be silly http://tfl.nu/xiol
  Replies (50) Good night (9679) Bad night (934)
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  (760): View more from California

  Professor used "ROFL" while grading my paper... Do I even go to a real college?

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  (760): Professor used "ROFL" while grading my paper... Do I even go to a real college? http://tfl.nu/r2e9
  Replies (36) Good night (3611) Bad night (3892)
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  (480): View more from Arizona

  Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?

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  (480): Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back? http://tfl.nu/wmx0
  Replies (66) Good night (1987) Bad night (3470)
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  (954): View more from Florida

  It's like God knew that was my ex's best friend and punished me. I've never vomited that much in my life.

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  (954): It's like God knew that was my ex's best friend and punished me. I've never vomited that much in my life. http://tfl.nu/v7co
  Replies (10) Good night (736) Bad night (3678)
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  (919): View more from North Carolina

  So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.

  (1-919): View more from North Carolina

  And that worked?

  (919): View more from North Carolina

  9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.

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  (919): So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night. (1-919): And that worked? (919): 9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards. http://tfl.nu/moso
  Replies (70) Good night (13747) Bad night (1646)
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  (706): View more from Georgia

  I dont know whats worse: her telling me she was so drunk i was "almost sexy," the fact that even when theyre shitfaced, im just "almost sexy" to girls, or the fact that i wasnt that offended by it.

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  (706): I dont know whats worse: her telling me she was so drunk i was "almost sexy," the fact that even when theyre shitfaced, im just "almost sexy" to girls, or the fact that i wasnt that offended by it. http://tfl.nu/ce8t
  Replies (14) Good night (1107) Bad night (4733)
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  (318): View more from Louisiana

  We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done

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  (318): We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done http://tfl.nu/r8w7
  Replies (4) Good night (3528) Bad night (1175)
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  (+44): View more from United Kingdom

  On the back of that comment, I've formed a theory that as a result of my brainwashing your drunk self actually believes that beards are your calling.

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  (+44): On the back of that comment, I've formed a theory that as a result of my brainwashing your drunk self actually believes that beards are your calling. http://tfl.nu/fq4v
  Replies (0) Good night (908) Bad night (1185)
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  (724): View more from Pennsylvania

  We just started the day with vitamin bombs. Daily vitamin + whatever's left in your glass from last night = feel like a champion

  (412): View more from Pennsylvania

  I just can't deal with that sentence

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  (724): We just started the day with vitamin bombs. Daily vitamin + whatever's left in your glass from last night = feel like a champion (412): I just can't deal with that sentence http://tfl.nu/b4b0
  Replies (3) Good night (1786) Bad night (630)
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  (845): View more from New York

  Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.

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  (845): Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show. http://tfl.nu/ezu8
  Replies (2) Good night (916) Bad night (367)

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