Texts From Last Night

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  (415): View more from California

  I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI

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  (415): I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI http://tfl.nu/f789
  Replies (3) Good night (832) Bad night (746)
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  (412): View more from Pennsylvania

  I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches

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  (412): I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches http://tfl.nu/0tvi
  Replies (6) Good night (4026) Bad night (677)
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  (952): View more from Minnesota

  True Life: I hate vaginal excretions

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  (952): True Life: I hate vaginal excretions http://tfl.nu/vhm9
  Replies (67) Good night (828) Bad night (7303)
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  (366): View more from

  just walked past a girl in her cap and gown puking her brains out beside a tree. her friends were taking pictures of her.

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  (366): just walked past a girl in her cap and gown puking her brains out beside a tree. her friends were taking pictures of her. http://tfl.nu/eijl
  Replies (7) Good night (4679) Bad night (1339)
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  (321): View more from Florida Space Coast

  mom just told me i had to find a fake by next wednesday.

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  (321): mom just told me i had to find a fake by next wednesday. http://tfl.nu/054y
  Replies (10) Good night (5118) Bad night (920)
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  (217): View more from Illinois

  Some ambulance just rolled up to this bar and this girl just hops out of the back and walks inside

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  (217): Some ambulance just rolled up to this bar and this girl just hops out of the back and walks inside http://tfl.nu/d6yu
  Replies (13) Good night (9345) Bad night (1055)
• Favorite

  (603): View more from New Hampshire

  All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident.

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  (603): All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident. http://tfl.nu/iw55
  Replies (7) Good night (2976) Bad night (840)
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  (913): View more from Kansas

  I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim

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  (913): I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim http://tfl.nu/0xxd
  Replies (8) Good night (2611) Bad night (841)
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  (330): View more from Ohio

  I'm sorry i ruined our friendship with a boner

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  (330): I'm sorry i ruined our friendship with a boner http://tfl.nu/m02y
  Replies (7) Good night (1985) Bad night (1282)
• Favorite

  (386): View more from Florida

  Nothing will ever prepare you for the moment when you are sitting on your friends bathroom floor with no pants on eating string cheese & pita at 2am.

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  (386): Nothing will ever prepare you for the moment when you are sitting on your friends bathroom floor with no pants on eating string cheese & pita at 2am. http://tfl.nu/mad5
  Replies (7) Good night (1536) Bad night (668)
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  (806): View more from Texas

  Dude I was taking a shower and I kept looking down at the drain expecting Mario to come up, yell "It's a me, Mario!", tickle my balls, and go back down the drain.

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  (806): Dude I was taking a shower and I kept looking down at the drain expecting Mario to come up, yell "It's a me, Mario!", tickle my balls, and go back down the drain. http://tfl.nu/iymf
  Replies (16) Good night (3155) Bad night (862)
• Favorite

  (205): View more from Alabama

  He kept stopping sex to whisper in my ear, and the only thing I could understand was "double stuffed oreos"

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  (205): He kept stopping sex to whisper in my ear, and the only thing I could understand was "double stuffed oreos" http://tfl.nu/1xhi
  Replies (10) Good night (1574) Bad night (599)
• Favorite

  (925): View more from California

  You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.

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  (925): You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink. http://tfl.nu/daan
  Replies (5) Good night (826) Bad night (402)
• Favorite

  (603): View more from New Hampshire

  I fell off my bed and busted open my chin on the prisoner of azkaban. Somehow missed the almost empty Jose handle next to it. So guess what I was doing last night?

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  (603): I fell off my bed and busted open my chin on the prisoner of azkaban. Somehow missed the almost empty Jose handle next to it. So guess what I was doing last night? http://tfl.nu/pz1o
  Replies (3) Good night (322) Bad night (649)
• Favorite

  (561): View more from Florida

  Uh, he still talks to you after you basically sexually harassed him using emojis?

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  (561): Uh, he still talks to you after you basically sexually harassed him using emojis? http://tfl.nu/jflh
  Replies (1) Good night (406) Bad night (217)

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