I just woke up my dad to tell him that i made out with the drummer. He wasnt as excited as I was.
No, I'm never going to get a job bc I don't know anything about public relations except that Chris Crocker wants everyone to leave Britney alone.
Nothing says "This dudes gotta go" better than a boner on your back waking you @ 5 in the morning
ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
23 Bisexuals Confess The Biggest Differences Between Dating People Of Each Sex
i would think by now you'd realize that my penis does whatever the fuck it wants and i have no control over the situation
This morning I proved to myself and all the kids on the playground that I can't puke and drive.
Well he's in a two year college so technically hes a senior. At least can we just pretend I'm not robbing the cradle.
when I sang my humps to you I meant it.
There is nothing scarier than watching yourself breathe in the mirror while on shrooms.
These 25 Ruthless Teachers Embarrassed Their Students
She was trying to fuck the exchange student from France. His English is really bad and the music was loud so she just pointed to a beer bottle and then her vagina.
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
currently waiting for her to check in on Facebook, the second she does I'm there. someone is getting laid tonight
I'm not stalking, she is pretty much begging me to come find her if she checks in
I'm really glad that we can be casual hook up buddies. This is a true friendship. Now, please convince your roommate to do the same. Thanks.
On a unprofessional note, there's a new girl in photo.
That wasn't unprofessional. The fact that I'm going to fuck her is unprofessional.
And you will die and be carried in a backpack before I allow you not to comply in this tomfoolery.
Randomize
