Rocking a Headband at the strip club, because of Rock of Love this shit is like their kryptonite, I smell like stripper butter and back child support.
I have taken lazynest to a new level. I took a picture of the notes on the board instead of writing them. I win.
It just feels wrong masturbating with my neighbor's cat in my apartment
i walked outside and you were driving up the stairs to her apartment
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'll be a little late, "getting ready for the party" turned into "smoking a bowl and doing lines in my room for an hour and a half." But I'm on my way now. With coke. And weed.
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
remind me to get a blood sugar test this week. I'm pretty sure I'm a mojito away from diabetes.
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He had to put the child locks on the windows so you would stop screaming at random boys
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
I need you to be best friend brutally honest about whether or not I can go into public like this.
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
I just loudly threatened to kill a self checkout machine
yep, just sat in the backseat of my car for about five minutes looking for the vodka soaked underwear,when i came to the realization that i really gotta start getting my shit together..
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