i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
I just bedazzled my weight watchers points calculator. You can tell I'm gay.
He did a line, told me my hair looked pretty against the background of the clouds, and then we fucked. Good afternoon
I had to ask him for the scissors while I was in the shower. My hood piercing was stuck in my loofah.
Turned out the thing on the lampshade was a bloodstain, not a bedbug. We feel much safer now.
The poor thing was so drunk they wheeled his motorcycle into the bar. I just dropped him off to pick it up. The best walk of shame ever.
Oh if I trust ANYTHING about you it's your ability to lead a douchebag around by the dick
By "met a doctor" I really mean "fucked a pre med student"
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
i'm at work, alone, drinking a spiced chai & fireball hot toddy. holiday OT isn't that bad after all.
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
On a scale of 1 to hungover I’m definitely throwing up at the office today.
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