What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
Upon hearing of his newfound access to every orifice... even ones he just made up... the Grinch's penis grew three sizes that day.
That bar we were at last night smelled like cougars. Virginia Slims, Aqua Net and Summer's Eve.
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
If you're going to watch porn, can you atleast be considerate and watch it on my old laptop and not the new one?
I still havent given him the valentines day card i got him. I feel like just writting...."sorry for the horrible blow job i gave u last night." and just giving it to him.
i spent 45 minuets spilling my heart out to him telling him i was in love with this other guy sorry. when i was done he asked me to give him a blow job. i did. i have commitment problems
Just bought a disco ball for 5 dollars, of course we're drinking tonight.
Its funny that cleaning up pieces of water balloons and shot glasses every morning is becoming a routine
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
they're doing drop shots of Jager into red wine. i don't want to be on that level
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
The molly dropped while I was taking a shit. Do you have any idea how scary that is?
That does not seem like timing
So this was during drunk golfing. She started wacking me off on the ninth hole and an old couple rolls up next to us. And Says "hey gu- oh my golly" and while my penis is in her hand I'm like "sorry you guys can play through"
Come get your boyfriend. He is hammered talking to me about hot dogs and casinos.
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