Doug is wearing your sports bra fyi
He sent me a video of himself jacking off. I am not kidding.
WTF??? Isn't he married??
Yeah but his wife is at a birthday party and I guess he's bored. LOL
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
Recycling day makes me feel more like an alcoholic than regular days.
I don't know how we managed to stay up but we actually sat in front of her open refrigerator for god knows how long while she ate salami straight out of the package with her fingers and I laughed. It was a trainwreck.
Do not tell me that that is not the face of a man who has sex with goats.
Just to update you. I am dead. So your probably gonna have to find a new roommate
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
On celebration of the Supreme Court ruling I feel it is our patriotic duty to have a threesome
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
Apparently, acid is a good substitute for cash if you don't have any! Who knew?
Powdered alcohol is a real thing now. Move over crystal light... Water bottles rejoice!!
Hey, if a dude can't randomly belt out Whitney Houston tunes from time to time, is life really worth living??
Eh, it could have been worse. I may or may not have been wearing a jedi cloak while getting my dick sucked.
Randomize
