And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
I couldn't even finish, she was lounder and more annoying than DJ Khaled
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
Apparently we had sex last night, and then I made him drive me to the beach so I could puke in the ocean.
He thinks that since we have been dating six months, that he can do the helicopter with his penis. Not okay.
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
My night ended with Em alternately crying and throwing up in the arms of a guy wearing a cutoff and a tiara. I sat holding a garbage can and wine glass full of water wondering how our night got to this point.
Happy birthday, you long dick monster
I'm on the bus, watching a girl shush her balloons.
How did you get him out of the shower last time?
Order Taco Bell and leave a trail of burritos leading to his bed.
He wrote his entire dissertation last night. I can only imagine the frightening amount of headway he would make if he ever did things sober.
ok first of all what the fuck
shit... I double booked my fuck buddies
I kinda just want to steal him and keep him forever
Randomize
