Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
Matt just took me to visit my puke stain from 2 weeks ago at the train station...I'm fucking impressive
85% positive I just found a hair of a certain variety wayyy in the back of my mouth between two teeth while flossing.
There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
Did you hear me? I HAVE THE CONTENTS OF AN NBA PLAYER'S CONDOM IN MY BEDROOM TRASHCAN!! This shit is potentially worth millions of dollars to a fertile young female who is ovulating. How do I sell it fast??
I'm so tired of waking up with my bed full of deli meats.
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
As we were about to go at it, his roommates barged in singing jumper by third eye blind. Weirdest almost one night stand ever.
I think all the stress in my life right now can be directly correlated with never winning a game of Bop It as a child.
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
I gave a very stressed out cashier a mini bottle from my purse the day after Christmas. It's what Jesus would have done.
You're a good person. Sharing is caring.
He was really cute! And I know but it's just like getting my fix ya know? He's basically a human vibrator.
So he apologized for peeing on my floor.. then we fucked all night.
Real classy
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