TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
I'm watching CSI, they found semen in the woman's ear.
Guess she heard her killer coming
He asked for his proof of insurance and he pulled out a Magnum by mistake. All of the sudden gignger was looking real good to me.
She said "Lay the fuck down and ill show you how its done. Ill get us both off." I did. And she did. Best words ever said before sex.
2am update: i think I'm in Mexico but I found a dennys. Everyone but this cute family of 4 is speaking Spanish. Cute family of 4 is helping me out.
There was a bottle of vodka and chips in a vase next to the bed
She just gave me a free latte.
Correction. She just have you a frothy, creamy path to that vagina.
I'm not proud of how I threatened that 8 year old during drunken laser tag
I will tell my future kids about the time I went to the bar with a stomach virus. Like a champ.
Jake and I will do a protection ritual for ur dick I don't know where she has been
after attempting to eat a candy cane bigger than my hand i have determined there's no way to eat this that doesn't seem erotic
this new dose of ADD meds is totally being waisted with the unemployed new graduate thing if only I could add my hyper focused side effects to a coverletter
He stopped me in the middle of a blow job to call his grandma for her birthday.
At least he has family values.
I lost my voice. So I'm going to pretend I'm Ariel with legs today.
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
Randomize
