I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
so then you were screaming "GIVE ME KELVINS!" and heating things up in the microwave and no one knew what you wanted
how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
I think the duck is in my room. You have no idea how much worse a duck makes a hangover
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
I think they took out their livers years ago and replaced them with like cheese graters or something. Only explanation.
The ultimate Father's Day bonding experience: Both getting bailed out of jail by mom for mooning some shithead cop.
He ended our Skype call with, "I'm going to poop and then go play my ukulele in the park."
She could makes a perfectt roast dinner drunk but she nearly sets the kitchen alight microwaving popcorn.
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
I ate a hotdog off the ground last night.
He was so drunk we almost didn't even make it to his place because he didn't know where he lived
the most terrified I've ever been was seeing Danny Devito squirming on the ground in this underwear, covered in hand sanitizer, completely hairless
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