Everytime she opens her mouth it's like a fucking terrorist attack on my life.
If you want her to think you're a true humanitarian, you may want to stop referring to Hands Across America as "the Ghostbusters 2 of fund raisers."
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but I did not stop moving last night. If tequila gives me that extra push to have an active lifestyle, so be it.
I wish they'd wear their tampons on the outside. At least gimme some warning
i was gonna do a lot worse than just throw cat food on you while you were passed out, but then you sleep vomited and i felt a little bad
Hey, remember when Hot Stuff played in the back of the ambulance? Or no, cause of your concussion...
Good to know. If our sexting moves past early 1900s vernacular, I'll be sure to use that once or twice.
Oh, I also stabbed a guy Friday and he still asked me out
We fucked. Had a political debate. I won. So I sat on his face.
I share a birthday weekend with Easter this year, so that fucking sucks. I hate sharing...and I have to share with fucking Jesus this year.\n
I just woke up with a cowboy hat on my face and a playboy from the 90s on my chest
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
I have a number of responses, ranging in content, tone, and maturity. Choose your destiny...
Randomize
