Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
we went back to her place to bone only to find her boyfriend having sex.. with MY girlfriend
I'm so hungover even the car commercials make me nauseas
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
I heard about the break up and if you need a place to stay my vagina is open for you 24/7
doing shots of $6 a bottle whiskey and chasing it with milk. my own personal way of saying fuck life.
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
Also CANADIAN LIPS TASTE OF MAPLE SYRUP AND APOLOGIES. SORRY.
You were so high that you only FaceTimed me so that you could stare into your own eyes and not actually say anything
I'm sad about how hungover I'm gonna feel tomorrow.
What do you mean not that crazy? I had sex last night. with my\nBOSS. in the restaurant where we WORK.... ON A DINNER TABLE.
You sat outside petting a picture of your cat for hours... not even the real thing... just a picture.
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