Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
i found the vodka. it was hiding in the orange juice.
i think i should save myself the $200 for a prom dress. i mean why bother. its just going to be covered in vodka/jizz/and puke by the end of the night.
And then the cop told me my court date was on 4/20. I said come onn u really gunna do me like that
The police scanner is talking about you again....
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
There needs to be a crayon color for how blue my balls are
I made a blanket fort and am drinking Gatorade and eating donuts watching 500 days of summer. I can't keep spending my saturdays like this.
Intramural soccer game tonight. Be ready for blood. I haven't sobered up since thursday
Discovery: bouncers seem to get really upset about fire
Btw his name is Woody. I must be really drunk to think this is a good situation
Judging by his bulge. This guy is going home with me. Who doesn't want a dick that looks like it used to be a pillar in Rome.
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
Tomorrow's lesson plan is going to be on hangovers and why drinking during the week is never a good idea. I hope my boss approves.
My vagina! What have you done to it?
Blessed it my child.
Randomize
