wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
I have this strange craving to see a really fat person go down a slipnslide
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
Okay, we really need to start training for the St Pattys parade. 48 hours of green beer won't end well if we don't prep ourselves. 2 week bender starts now
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
He said I went to go sit outside and is promised I wouldn't leave he brings me a chair and I'm gone. He found me stumbling a half mile away in my socks
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
I just gave my mom some ones that look like they've probably been in some strippers cooter. Oops.
Haha. Just tell your mom not to smell them
Hey mom, most of this money I'm giving you is in ones. Don't ask why and whatever you do don't smell them.
Sounds legit to me.
I won't let penises inside me if you won't let tequila inside you, deal?
I'm getting "congrats on your engagement" shots. I need to get engaged more often!
Like, yea, let's talk sexy but also...LOOK! I SAW A CAT!
Would you be so kind as to inform your husband that my truck is forever cursed by mashed potatoes and it's his fault.
He makes furniture for a living and is basically a hot, younger Ron Swanson
Never underestimate the power of titties
We were playing fuck marry kill and he was eavesdropping so I said I would fuck him
It was like catching dick in a barrel
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