Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
matt is drinking blue powerade and it looks like he has hypothermia. i can't take this kid anywhere.
he was on top of me and all of a sudden stopped and starting picking his nose...i asked him if he was okay, he sort of looked confused, and he told me he had a booger that hurt. guess its a good thing i wasnt planning on dating this guy
and she was petting her beer can
hah yeah. there was a kid puking in the bathroom and this idiot brings in a potted plant and was like "yeah he's like, not getting enough oxygen"
Just woke up in a hotel next to a 38 year old mom who's married... I think Spring Break has started
Hey I think I found part of your tooth next to your wine bottle in the floor board of my car.
Im 95% ready to shit behind 711
Tell me you didn't really piss in the hookah.
I have green food coloring in my hair and just got a text from "Guy in the Yard"...so this morning is going just as you might imagine.
If you're wondering why you have playpen balls it's because we stopped at chuckie cheese on the way home.
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
Philosophical question for you: is it better to go into work slightly drunk or slightly coked out?
Why is the microwave staring at me?!
Which one have i been cheating ON and which one have i been cheating WITH if i met them the same night & have been dividing time equally?
Randomize
