Like all of my pajamas are shirts of guys I shacked with in college
so i walked in, looked up the stairs and all i saw was smashed pumpkin, tube socks, and marinara sauce
I just masterbated while imagining him getting hit by a truck. I have hit a completely unacceptable level of anger & bitterness. Help.
I owe you 20 bucks. My blood work did show liver damage.
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
A man just poked my foot with his crutches while I'm shitting. Is that how the disabled gays ask for a glory hole blow jay?
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
Maybe I can find a straight girl rehab camp, like the opposite of those degaying camps, where they teach me how to love the ladies instead
Omg. I would pay ALL OF THE MONEY for that camp.
for some reason leaving your socks onmakes it less meaningful.
If you can throw 105 mph it’s mandatory that you’re hung.
One lesson I've learned so far from college: You've always got time for one more shot. Always
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
Had to trim my nails cus they got too long to effectively finger myself with
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