She said I could do whatever I wanted to her. I pumped for 20 seconds, apologized, rolled over and passed out. I sit directly across from her at work. Awkward?
I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
He is drunk texting me begging me not to tell my mom. Pretty sure he is about to offer me sexual favors for keeping my mouth shut. I love being the boss's daughter.
i just put all of my beerlympics medals into my academic awards box. i would say they are my greatest achievement since college.
I keep getting texted pictures of my husband with other men. I can't figure out if he wants a divorce or a threesome?
do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
I lost a little respect for your boyfriend when I learned that he has a scar from a Cheerio.
Ps there is nothing more humbling in the world than havin to watch cheaper by the dozen on the waiting room tv while getting the morning after pill at the drs. Nothing
i went out at 5pm and cant remember anything until 3am...i was at the bus stop parking lot running around doing the Arrested Development chicken calls.
i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
I spy something regrettable...
Oh my god. Stop!! It was one time and I still can't believe it.
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
The difference in our lives is summed up perfectly in that you woke up next to a 6'4" guy with an accent and I woke up next to an unwrapped piece of string cheese.
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
Had to admit my broken elbow was caused by vodka, not hockey
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