$22.99 left in the bank til payday = 3($7 jack & coke) + 2($0.89 T-Bell taco) + $0.21 in case of emergency.
math is fun
i feel like my life is a cheap remake of American Pie
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
It was like the titanic mixed with those sad puppy commercials mixed with jello shots
For the amount of money I just spent on my dogs toe, I could have fucked the entire B squad at a low end strip club.
I feel like I have two modes: Super fuckin high, or super giddy from caffeine. I have learned to accept this.
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
Security has videotape of her blowing the boss against his car. Don't they know he entire parking lot is under video surveillance?
The bathroom smells like ribs. What did you do?
I love you but I don't want to see you naked.
Your friends are scaring the cats so I'm going to smoke weed with them to call them down.
I understand why animals eat their young in the wild after watching your kid this afternoon
Funny you say that, I just sold my stripper pole to my mom tonight...
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
Had a one night stand and didnt remember the guys name until he started sending me poems in the mail.
Randomize
