did the walk of shame from ex-boyfriend's room only to find other ex-boyfriend sitting in the living room. some people shouldn't be allowed to be friends.
some people shouldn't be allowed to be desperate.
i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
90% of the problems in your life are directly related to your vagina
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
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I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
I've been crying in my room listening to Billy Joel for 2 hours. Thank God Four Loko was banned.
Sometimes you just need a break, and sometimes you also need to get stoned on these breaks. I sound like some kind of fucked up mr rogers when I say shit like that.
I'm assuming the reason my elbow is so sore has something to do with all the broken shot glasses eh?
Yep
Just thought you should know, Im with josh now. Im no longer available for rent. I have a full time tenant now. Like, a year long lease at least.
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Sex on acid. Try it. I thought we were fucking in outer space with fireworks inside a rocketship car. Best.
the second she challenged me to mario kart drinking game i knew i was in love
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
I'm still hammered too. I started tweeting the time at one point I'm pretty sure.
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
You can have my vag. Its useless without you.
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