butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
literally had 100 drinks last night.
I'm at breakfast still drunk holding a blow up parrot
she was drooling, sharted in her sleep, rolled over stuck her hand under the covers pulled it back out, smelled it and moaned and rolled back over. i almost added puke to the disgusting bodily fluid category.
he said i took off my shirt and wrote "help HATI" on my tits, and charged people to motorboat me..... i'd like to say i woke up with 267$ in my purse
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
last nights episode of shot friends brought to you by polish vodka and flamingo baseball. pickles cure hangovers.
My dick was almost in plain McDonald's sight
Fun fact: drinking me now steals weaponry
I have to pee in a cup in the morning and they are going to say....you just peed a miller light. I'm going to hang my head in shame and say yes...yes I did.
like, you weren't just lying there, you were wrapped in what appeared to be the skin of a wolf, chanting doomsday prophecies
THE END IS NEIGH
Puke-y regrets or just things-seem-far-away regrets?
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
Dude if I had a dollar for everytime she asked me to do weird shit with her when we were fucking I'd have like 4$
Randomize
