You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
then he pulled down his pants, and i just stared for about a minute..... i was so confused. i didnt know my cat could have a bigger penis than an 18 year old man.
I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
What's the wine called that we really like and we usually drink it with xanax?
I think "banned from Amtrak due to excessive projectile vomiting" would sum up the evening quite nicely.
Drug-sniffing dog walked past me and my suitcase in the train station. My opinion: they need a new dog
He went THROUGH MY PHONE (he's 30 for God sake) then asked me why I was stringing along 12 guys... I told him he could have just asked me if I was banging other people and then saved himself from looking at pics of dicks bigger than his.
Don't ever give your dog some hamburger at midnight. Its impossible to enjoy a late night burger when your dog just threw it up all over your carpet. Gremlin rules work with dogs.
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
How are you feeling this morning?
Well, I just found day old puke in my bra, so I've been better.
Well, I got drunk and told my family about what I expected sexually after a good first date.
I just described cereal to my mother as "acoustic breakfast soup".
who is this
Randomize
