She said her name was "party"
She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
Is it hot in here? Is the room moving? Its moving. The room is moving. Its spinning like a top. Have you ever been covered in puke? What are you doing?
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
She just took a mirror selfie at the hospital while in labor.
That moment when you cant decide between eating spaghetti or a Popsicle for breakfast
A milkman. But instead of milk I'm delivering marijuana. And instead of a milk truck it's an armored car.
You're a weed delivery man, in an armored car?
I lost a shoe at the club last night, I think that's when I decided to go home.
I wouldn't call us friends exactly. Honestly I just hang out with him so I can hit on his girlfriend. They won't last long, and I'll be there to pick up the scraps
Trying to stay sober at a family function but hiccuping so fucking loud. "Have you been drinking?" I hit on my cousin so yeah. I have been drinking.
Please don't explain what tea bagging is to my mother.
I was left to my own devices with nothing to do but drink
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