am i at home because theres a dig starrrrring at me and i dont know wit plus i haer sirens. run fast.
I just gave my whole company pinkeye. How's that for a summer intern's lasting impression? BOOYAHH
I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
I've decided to turn your sobriety into a reason for me to be able to drink more.
Lives are in shambles. Livers are in disrepair. Our friend was missing for 2 days. His brother slept in a porta potty. God damn you college world series
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
Sent him a picture of my pregnant boobs from last year, think he'll notice the difference?
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
Tried to dodge fire in poncho. Fell through fence. Blood everywhere.
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
Im legit just salty with everyone who has a penis right now
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