Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
Words i added to my t9 today: gnomes, facebook, and chlamydia.
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
So I just bought underwear that says "I'm taken." Just know that when I cheat on my bf with you, that's what I'm wearing
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
I forgot to tell you thank you for putting me out when I was on fire. im sure I'll laught about this someday...
There's a big bag of salt and vinegar chips and a Budweiser for when you wake up. Don't say I never did anything for you.
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
I shit you not. I was sitting on Brian's balcony...still drunk from the night before, and a hummingbird flew onto the patio, stared me right in the face and flew away. I feel like it was God's way of telling me, "Stop drinking."
Tom just texted me he's Tindering from his hospital bed while they're running heart tests on him.
That's dedication to the game.
I don't think he likes that I'm always sending him pictures of me in my bra but he needs to get it together
yknow last night was like... the third night in a row alex woke me up to make sure i wasn't dead and tbh it's sorta sweet.
Dont worry, the Canadians are more afraid of you then you are of them.
Just rode a bull topless for a free bar tap for a month
Randomize
