After he proceded to violently molest my tits until 9 am i snuck out of his room only to meet his mother downstairs, who informed me she heard the giant sexfest going on in the room next to them.. this was before she called us both "chickenshits".. worst walk of shame ever.
I wiped a tear off her cheek with my boner. It cheered her up
I just wanted to yell " i am not a shake weight!!"
sitting on the counter. eating honey. crying, because coldplay sounds beautiful on the radio. highhhhh as the sky
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
you can now officially say a girl has shaved your initials into her pubes. welcome to the club.
Apparently blowing a .28 for a cop and then kissing her on the mouth is technically assaulting a police officer. Who knew.
As we're eating sushi she goes I just want to get a disease so my mom can take care of me... Great first date
We can't be fuck buddies. You stare into my eyes while we fuck.
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
I woke up sandwiched between them, all of us naked, and they were just sharing a cigarette, a donut, and the paper like it was just some normal post-threesome Sunday brunch.
I want the address of the individual responsible for strawbeeritas. I want to send them gift basket.
Stop it with the monkey emojis. It's like sexting with Curious George
I turn into such a nice and loving person when I take Vicodin
YOU GOT ME SO DRUNKK
i got me so drunk!
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