so... i had sex tonight
with a midget
nicccce tits for a little person
My poor mother should have just stuffed me back up her vagina when she had the chance.
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
She has an emergency bra in her purse. I'm gonna check no on the 'introducing her to my new boyfriend' box.
First of all you're supposed to say "you're not fat". And second of all never ever deprive me of nachos.
If you hear a sad honk in the wind it is me.
I just shit my bed. Go ahead and make your 40 year old incontinence jokes now.
Being sober is no fun. Karaoke and not wearing pants are not socially acceptable things to do anymore and this depresses me.
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
Apparently I had 2 bloody noses and after my sis put me to bed at the hotel, I escaped and my sister's friend found me in an elevator with some guy
I mean seriously...It's like the universe is saying "your vagina is closed, move along"
Remind me to tell you about how I hit a tree with my car last night.
I'll be glad to.
I ripped ass in on and around her face during a hard 69. I don't think she'll ever call me again.
Randomize
