would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
at john mayer concert. alone. to many highschool kids. i feel like a drunk chaperone with a pomegranite martini mustache
Next thing I know we're all standing in the kitchen holding hands and thanking God for the beer.
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
i'm sorry i gave your brother a handjob while you were on the blanket next to us, but to be fair your back was turned.
my mom was in labor with me for 32 hours, it's only fair to start drinking now.
His new job just became new places to have sex at.
A nap. You broke your hand napping in Vegas.
i thought you were just a really comfy body pillow until i sobered up. oops.
When was the last time you wore pants?
Time is relative.
And pants are optional.
I am the only person I know ever to have been brought TO the bar in the back of a cop a car. Twice.
That was awkward , having sex with her while her husband watched via Skype. I'm a porn star or a target. Idk
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
i really didnt think i was that drunk last night but the txts from unknwn #s that say i like your lace panties are def telling me otherwise
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