Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
i just farted in a meeting....took me completely by surprise.
so you made the shocked face and they caught you.
yup.
I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If we break up, I want weekend visitations with your penis.
He told her hed rather go bobbing for apples in puke than have sex with her.
YOU STOLE THE WEDDING CAKE?!?!
Only one tier
Tastes like cardboard anyway
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
Hey my vagina is like a company. Everyone has an equal opportunity....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was fine until they started lighting shots of everclear on fire and making ME take them. That's when shit went down...
How much money would it take for the bouncer to get us beers while we wait in line to get in?
$450 apparently whoopwhoop
To me, you're the Patron Saint of good music and handjobs
We gotta locate my vibrators and get them stashed away STAT
I mean, what's the polite way to say, "sorry but I can't date you cuz I'm sleeping with your boss" ??
i wish i could put you in a lil box, and keep you for when i need to be blown
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