Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
I don't even remember his name...i'm just gonna save it as birthday sex
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
I need to start giving them away because owning 20 dildos is never going to get me a boyfriend.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Besides the flaccid incident, it was decent. Average sized. So this is my life now. Loneliness and lackluster sex.
Worrying about "What smells like cat pee?" is so much easier than worrying about "What am I doing with my life?"
I have no idea what that means but I'm googling things just so I can watch my thumbs move
Is "I want you to destroy my insides" too forward?
This whole having a new phone thing is like starting all over in life with a clean slate! (My old text convos are gone)
New phone new life!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You leaned over to me in the elevator and whispered "how long do I have to pretend to be sober?"
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
And for the record I didn't even have sex last night. I threw up in his toilet and slept in his bed until noon
For 15 minutes straight, he literally did every accent there was, from Russian to Bostonian. The issue: no one could determine whether he was sober, wasted, or anywhere in between
Threw up on break at work. That brings our collective tally to 9 times. We can never drink like that on a monday again
Someone wrote "LazerSwords" on my cock last night. My erect cock. Tequila is no one's friend.
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