Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
Why is your name written on my hand surrounded by hearts and a bartenders phone number?
Fuck Sunday funday. Fuck real pants. Fuck the sun. Fuck Jameson. Fuck my life. Yes, I am hungover as shit sitting in my office eating bacon.
WHEN DID YOU SAY YOU COME BACK BC I GOT INVITED TO A KEG WAR PARTY
And you are going to be so turned on by my batman skills later
I came so hard I went blind for a few seconds.
Well now you know my birthday fantasy: gangbang consisting of men wearing NPR pledge t-shirts.
I supernannyed him into submission
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
Just threw up in a cup driving down the road because there was cop behind me and I didn't want to pull over. Not sure if winning or failing at life.
Randomize
