I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
I don't know what's more sad: The fact that he fingered the side of my leg, or the fact that the side of my leg feels like a vagina.
I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
She introduced herself as 'Ann the sober one.' Took me to a coat check and a lost and found. Then offered coffee and breakfast sandwiches. Turns out she's been paying her half of the electric bill running post-party operations.
I sorta feel bad for the actual person in my fake id that got a drunk in public charge.
I woke up naked dangling by my feet from the balcony over his foyer. He's officially my new favorite booty call.
You rubbing siracha on a cat with your feet is the opposite of what I want.
I'm having flashbacks from last night. Did I admit to pausing Whitney's funeral because I was watching porn? I believe I did.
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
I just got a lap dance from a sexy cop in return for giving him his sunglasses back. I think this is going to be the beginning of a really great friendship
The worst part about living in a small town is partying with your pharmacist and then having to buy Plan B from him the next morning.
The number of mornings I actually have to say out loud to myself "you must put pants on and go to work" to get motivated is...troubling.
You said you liked how I put the cream cheese on.
Randomize
