you kept eating the heads off the gummy bears and screaming 'euthanized!'
We just used hot candle wax from our joint lighting candle to make a bunch of new small ones how stoned are we
So many tools at one table, you'd enjoy my italian family
Was this before, or after you took my brand new bag of shredded cheese, and "Made it rain"?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
captain&coke to the library. STAT. this is an emergency. this is not a drill. I repeat: THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
The fool I made of myself at the Ugly Christmas Sweater party last night was surpassed this morning when I walk of shamed 6 miles at 7am with one mysterious wet leg and no pants on. I think my mom saw me and waved.
Also while I am being the bigger person I plan on bringing over something strong smelling and/or alcoholic to torture the poor hungover bastard
in the future when you find clothing in your street, just assume it's mine.
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I love birth control. How's that for a Facebook status on valentines day.
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
I think I'd rather see her get hit by a car in one of those Russian dash cam videos on YouTube.
Jungle juice breakfast? No? Ok.
I looked into her soul, didn't I?
You eye-fucked her soul.
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