is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
tequila makes me forget i have legs
she was sobbing drunk in the backseat about her dead cat and how the guy in the front seat didn't want to hook up with her
What's that word that means bigger and smaller and bigger and smaller, again?
Goddamn it, Jaime, it's 4am. Throbbing. The word is throbbing.
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
In a strange taxi 3059. Battery dying I'm dying. Bye.
If the egyptians can build pryamids men can walk on the moon and ron jeremy can sleep with all those bitches then we can finish these three handles of vodka
Finishing last nights 1.5L of wine and beef jerky for breakfast. Work looms, ever the prickly bitch.
her vagina just converted me to Judaism.
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
There's a fine line between kinky and serial killer
Dude, I got drunk and sexted his little sister by accident
I came home and my mom goes "why are you barefoot and where the hell are your shoes?" and I replied "I have French fries"
Randomize
