I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
I'm in the library if you wanna come give me library head.
well i had to explain to their mom why the kids i babysit for won't stop repeating the phrase "nice juicy guido"
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
at what point last night did we decide it was okay to let me hitch hike to another bar?
The birthday girl is bringing her own barf bucket, it is going to be a good weekend.
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
I feel like as your wife, as cool with your decision-making skills as I usually am, there should be a bigger explanation to you adopting a child while I'm in Houston.
It was like an ecstasy filled massage for my vagina.
That's the best compliment I have ever received.
Nothing says "future AA member" like bonging 40's out of a plastic flamingo.
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
His favorite stripper is going to jail. He's taking it pretty hard
I went to steal condoms from your room and all I could find was chik fil a sauce
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
Randomize
