I just blew up the bathroom at work and now I feel like a new woman
So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
Your mom can still drink beer standing on her head! Talk to you tomorrow :)
Mom wtf!?
New Jersey isn't a real state, it's just a myth you tell little kids to scare them like Canada or Carrot Top
The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
The only word I understood in that whole setence was semen.
I just gagged from thinking about the amount of tequila we will be drinking. DRUNK TUESDAYS
Did we almost burn down the bar last night? I guess flaming shots were a bad idea.
Your heart is a swirling cauldron of blackness that does not pump blood but rather a sludgey mixture of evil and broken dreams.
It felt as if we were fucking on a sea of baby feet and morgan freemans face hair
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
So i woke up this morning to find my boss passed out on my living room floor.. Awkward? Haha
My sinuses still burn from snorting red wine last night.
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