I'm too stoned for this. I'm Canadian.
i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
I'm sitting in class drinking a forty out of a paper bag. No ones said anything yet. I think my professor is trying to ignore me. Better start yelling louder.
So, remember how that one doctor said it was 1 in a million that I'd get pregnant...
Yeeah thank god
Well..welcome to parenting Mr. one in a million.
Dude totally calling you out on watching when harry met sally on netflix on demand on april 8th.
He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
So when the drug raid cops tell you, you should get out of the relationship, it probably means its time.
the dude in the apartments across the street got a video of me railing blake on your front steps last night
shit like this is why i dont let you drink vodka anymore ..
It was fine. Until I accidentally shit on his floor.
You had sex with a Scottish dude with a peg leg....how could I NOT tell that story??
Hey what are you up to?
I am wear the people with the mustaches live. I have found their home.
DUDE, WE BOUGHT THE ACID TOGETHER.
HE CHOSE A RESTAURANT AND MADE A FUCKING RESERVATION. I AM SHOOK
That wasn't even sex. That was a fuckoning
...did you just create a word for what we did?
Randomize
