My grandmass entire neighborhood is over for dessert and i'm high as fuck...about to make a couple of freshman boys real uncomfortable
Freshman in high school? Just your type
i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
ever seen your mom drunk enough to lick your face? i have
i am breaking up with you. because you wash your hair too much and you only drink light beer and because you're not party enough.
and now her best friend is massaging my table under the leg. this may not end well.
You played "let it burn" by usher 28 times, knocked over the 36 gallon fish tank, and passed out in the kitchen. Yeah...That drunk.
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
I am no longer drunk enough to crave tostitos
He called me kiddo. We can't have sex
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
screwing the intern at work sucks when u find out the boss is too. She is a smoking hot though
She tied me to the bed and did lines off my chest before sex. I’m going to put that on my bucket list just so I can cross it off
Got upgraded to First Class and now I’ve got the whole Pacific Ocean to seduce the very hot gentleman sitting next to me!!! Door closing, wish me luck!
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