her vagina looked like a handful of raisins.
Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
im sitting in my room wearing my power rangers shirt watching a movie about a magical dragon. Ive totally forgotten what having a sex life is like.
One of my students just said I have "big mommy parts". Even third graders know that my tits are too big. God I love em.
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
FACT: the parking lot attendant was yelling "NO SEX HERE! NO SEX" at yall.
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
I've been smelling a baby wipe for three minutes. I didn't think I was that drunk but I guess I am
I woke up with a piece of pizza duct taped too my hand and a paragraph written on my chest. Good night is say
I told him if he cums in my mouth he has to buy me a cake that says "sorry I came in your mouth"
Come on there are only so many drink coaster sizes nipples in the world
You were mean to me and you broke my heart and hurt my feelings. You dont get to talk to me about Peter Dinklage
He's going to find out eventually, but really what's he going to do? Cry about it and buy another fucking kitten??
Had sex outside for the third time last night. Mosquito bites all over my ass, and i think i have a rash on my nipples. When will i learn.
Just wait till winter
Yeahh. im on the phone with him drunk. he told me he found a pigeon in a cardboard box and named it quincy...
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