you know u lost to a carboard cut out of sammy sosa in beer pong last night.
I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
She wants to practice her harmonica skills on my penis
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Considering adding a large amount of vodka to my tomato cup-a-soup at work. Save me.
I am never going on a blind date ever again. He drank way too much and kept telling me I had a nice boob. Like.. Singular. What's the other one? The ugly twin?
Don't feel sorry for me. I'm getting Red Lobster and sex tonight. Nothing can bring me too far down.
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
You want to groom your chest hair? You mean with a little baby chest hair brush? Because that sounds adorable.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
lonely sunday drunk me decided to tweeze my pubes. HORRIBLE IDEA
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
there's cocaine on the ipad again........... was your sister here last night?
just had to get on my knees to snort an addy off the little sink at the daycare. teacher of the year!
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
I can't open my mouth wide enough to make full use of this snapchate update
Randomize