I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
if your leaving for the weekend then im farting on your pillow
why wash my dick in the morning if you're not there to suck it?
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
Do I buy ice cream sandwiches or a 40? these are the difficult life decisions I am faced with.
You slow danced with your carpet steamer last night.
She looks like if Peter Griffin was a lesbian.
Run away.
Also, putting laundry hampers on my head and pretending I'm an astronaut is a good way to get caught in every door frame in the house.
How am I feeling this morning? Well, besides the fact that my vagina looks like a pair of giraffe's lips and I'm walking like an over-confident cowgirl, I'm fantastic. Thanks for your concern.
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
I solemnly swear I will not get your boyfriend puke in public drunk again
Your friend gave me you're number. I was the guy locked behind the book shelf.
I think you have the wrong number, but I hope you escaped your library-prison?
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
After we'd both come, we started writing a book about dragons. Woke up this morning to a full English breakfast. Can't thank you enough for introducing us
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