If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
"Party in the USA" was played at church youth group last night. It was like everything I enjoy hating was aligning against me.
after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
Just tried on my bathing suit for the first time this year. Had to drink a beer to numb the pain.
well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
I just taped a plastic bag to my ceiling for the next time I have to throw up on the top bunk. Why am I so good at college?
It's really sad that I'm trying to calculate in my head the type of place to have dinner that's worth anal
You don't care if I shave my legs, but you insist I be conscious for sex. Whatever. I really think your priorities are out of whack.
When we were finished I asked him how long it had been since he'd cum that hard. He thought really hard for a while before telling me his brain forgot how years worked.
I changed his contact info to "NO" and a picture of satan
Sometimes I look at her and just start choking. She is that much of an evil entity.
He is completely naked, curled in a ball, and rocking back and forth in the shower humming lullabies to himself. This is your responsibility since I'm going to be fucking someone in 5.7 seconds.
Nothing says hangover like being in the doctors office getting a tampon removed from deep inside
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