a guy named alex was hitting on my friend tonight. he doesnt work on wind turbines tho.
They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
"Morning after" poops are always like, interesting.
This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
I knew she was going to get knocked up just by looking at her facebook pics
Just promise me we won't die tonight. I can't have an autopsy report that reads "stomach contents: Tequila and semen."
i need to start using my dry humping skills. i was dry humping champion in 7th grade
College: when you have to set an alarm to start drinking
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
I'm eating a subway sandwich in the bathtub because I don't want to move. God bless boys from Brooklyn
It's 5am and I have yet to fall asleep. At what point do we just accept that I run on vodka?
You had sex with a guy who has a purple beard last night. No Molly for a while, ok?
I'm wine drunk & this is not good news for anybody
How did I end up with the cock ring?!
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