The child next door sounds like he's having vigorous sex in the backyard and it's making me very, very uncomfortable. I don't want to look.
you know i think I know why you are single...because you are real cute but then you open your mouth and let words come out and all goes to hell.
her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
Just joined the godiva rewards club. Who's the fat friend now.
Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
I'm not leaving bed today. And i guess my drunken ass last night hit my roommate in the face with a tiki torch then proceeded to cry while carrying around a picture of he who must not being name. I'm a piece of work.
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
So, Cheetos don't microwave great.
He said my vagina is harder to escape than the Temple of Doom.
And I woke up by myself with peanut butter.. Cool
Omg. I can't go on a date with this man. His kids are too ugly.
SPICY FOODS AND BLOWJOBS DON'T MIX.
YOU SAID YOU'D TRY ANYTHING ONCE YOU LIAR
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
I was watchin a porno and I sware I saw that dude at the bar at applebees the other night
Randomize
