I don't know where I am but the food in the fridge is awesome.
no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
Best. Four. Twenty. Ever.
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
I feel like everything I touch in this bar I'm gonna get hepatitis. my kinda joint
You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura!
Dammit labor day drinking cancelled due to 3 inch long table saw cut to palm
I'm drunk in your building find me and we can have sex.
I'm not drunk because I think my blood just is alcohol from last night so being drunk is sober. If that makes sense
Do one night stands count towards my number?
Yes. A penis is a penis
Even bad ones?
YES.
He called my boobs fluffy. Part sexy part pilsbury dough boy. Part sexy pilsbury dough boy. I'm so confused. And flattered?
I got inside last night via doggy door
If I take one more surprise finger up the ass this week there will be hell to pay.
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