Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.
I doubt were getting our security deposit back... the toilet just fell off the wall
Where are you and who are these girls passed out on the floor?
and why are they spooning a flamingo?
they traded weed for a spot on our floor. be nice.
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
hungover waitressing a bar association event. im being judged by actual judges.
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
He left his boxers here. Can I keep them and make a shrine or would that be creepy?
It's twenty thirteen and the rando and I bonded over the fact that we're both stil using flip phones. Of course I fucked him in the bathroom. It was the obvious thing to do.
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
I have never lost more friends than while playing Uno drunk.
We're gonna have to check the security cameras after last night
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
I don't just want drugs. I deserve drugs.
Are you texting me while pooping again?
I'm also playing fetch with the dog
Randomize
