VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
i was out of cigarettes so i took the butts out of the ashtray, emptied them out, and proceeded to roll one big Frankenstein cigarette.
Hey I have to teach you how to run in heels before vegas
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
Accidentally spilled a drink on her roommates skirt, offered to clean it, and got a blowjob out of the deal. Something went horribly right.
Nothing like a Mormon bachlorette party to make you feel slutty
You left a trail of sequins from your dress incase we got lost
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
You hid from a cop under some guy's canoe on his lawn.. It didnt work
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
I send out my deepest condolences for seeing my ass last night.
He has an accent, blue cross AND gainful employment. Just saying, he's going to urgent care once I'm done with him
i'm not sure you can trust me in a car with 20 dozen donuts
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