So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
His pick-up line from last night: "I bet you cant climb these stairs right now." Needless to say.. it worked.
Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
when the song champagne showers came on you poured some kids beer over his head... while giving him a lap dance
Ended up getting hot boxed in a limo with a bunch of asians going to a karaoke bar. I think I pretended to understand their language for a solid hour. Am I bilingual now?
they adjusted my tv to black and white ... i thought i drank myself to colorblindness
I just realized now that you're pregnant we can't use alcohol as currency
still not dressed at 5:00, jacking off watching men's figure skating and hoping my weird roommate doesn't walk in. anybody who says idk how to have fun is wrong
I just put poptarts in the toaster with the wrapper on, that's how hungover I am.
You have a penis. Therefore everything you say is automatically wrong.
He was cute in a Sketchy-trying-to-sell-you-a-vaccum-at-9-at-night kinda way.
Randomize
