I thought I had fell out of his trailer but he says I tried to ninja kick his TV stand saying those girls hula hooping were trying to seduce him. There wasn't anyone else there.
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
I was just informed that you are the reason for my 2 missing front teeth.
No, I'm in the bathroom trying to scrub off the 16 tally marks on my wrist so its not so obviously to the world that I puked on a couch last night.
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
So I think my aunt and her one legged boyfriend are getting it on in the next room. Traumatized does not even begin to describe what I am right now
don't worry i won't let him get attached. I put on my Hulk onesie after sex and yelled I SMASHED YOU. never seen a guy looked so confused.
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
There are days when you go to throw something in your bedroom trash can and realize the only things in there are a used condom, a Lime-arita can and a muffin wrapper.
The George Foreman grill is melted. I don't know what other problems could arise.
So when the drug raid cops tell you, you should get out of the relationship, it probably means its time.
I told him he was like my favorite pair of jeans; I may not wear them every day, but I'll never get rid of them and they make my ass look fantastic. Needless to say he was not thrilled.
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
I'm at the store buying a new phone cause I pissed all over mine last night. Drunk me is expensive as shit.
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
Randomize
