I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
Dude, a dry wedding reception should nullify the vows, because really, without the booze, you might as well be 5 years old again and playing dress-up
i was just singing like a virgin out loud my mom told me to stop kidding myself
i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
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The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
Just cause I'm shitfaced wasted every night waking up in random beds all over Manhattan does not mean I'm a mess.
Truth. Respect the hustle.
Would you be mad if I just used the argument "I'm allowed to say that, my best friend is a lesbian"?
Never. I'm proud to help you win arguments.
If I don't get my shit together, I'm going to be one of those really fucked up cases on 1000 ways to die
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Yeah I don't remember how I got home last night
Judging from my pants, I embarrassed myself smh
Powdered alcohol is a real thing now. Move over crystal light... Water bottles rejoice!!
Dude I was walking down the street and threw up in a plastic cvs bag. Tequila wins again.
I'm literally beginning to think that my sex dreams are prophesies
I keep having dreams where I tie him up and eat cookies off of him while riding him. Wtf brain.
Here when you come to your senses come back here and I'll fuck you back out of them.
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