someone owes me an orgasm
I just creeped all your pictures on Facebook -- it was like I watched you grow up right before my eyes.
you started crying because you didn't get to wear your rainboots this week so i turned on the shower and let you jump around in it
youre the best friend ever
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
Remember that crazy chick I've been ignoring and said I wouldn't bang her again? Can we start that again part today?
Apparently he's taking the slut he cheated on me with on a cruise for her birthday. THAT COULD HAVE BEEN ME. TITANTIC STYLE.
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
There is a pile of hair outside the apartment next door. At least now I know what all that shouting was about last night.
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
Who the fuck superglued glowsticks to my arm.
Needless to say, I woke up on the bathroom floor wearing the dress that my mom wore to the wedding. That open bar stole my soul.
I woke up just like any other Wednesday. Naked on the floor, hungover and covered head to toe in lube
Quick question, did I crash teeth with you when I snogged you, or did I headbutt something between the car and the bed last night?
As a side note, can you ask the maintenance staff not to drag their balls on our stairwell handrails. Please.
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
Randomize
