dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
hey soul. what's that? you, dignity and pride are left for the night? coulda told me that before i vomited all over my mother.
I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
I wish I could donate my sober boners to my whiskey dick
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
The horrors my penis has endured I wouldn't wish upon any man.
I need to stop smoking. I just talked to corn.
she chugged a bowl of salsa and then gave my ferret weight loss tips. she's like my fucking spirit animal now
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
Look man, sometimes you just gotta say "Sure! Why not? I can always take a shower afterwards"
The last time I thought I had a UTI, I ended up having herpes. Sooo.. This time in preparing myself for cancer or death.
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
Was not aware that standing loudly up off the couch and loudly, drunkenly slurring "I'M EIGHTEEN NOW BITCHES" counted as a primitive mating call.
I think the cashier at 7/11 might be planning an intervention for me.
Randomize
