My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
There could not be a more unattractive person. She just told me her period was so bad that she got sick. I think my penis retracted and killed himself
I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
i just called corporate taco bell to ask about the life span of a chicken burrito.
The man at the Honda dealership told me I smell like vodka and probably shouldn't be driving.
i just opened up my bathroom cabinet to get deodorant and found 4 bottles of natty. Its like the world wants me to miss this interview
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
Some guy just rode an office chair down my street, I hope he comes back so I can give him my number.
Stripper just cleaned my glasses with her nipple...
She posted a pic of her bf on ig wishing him a happy bday at midnight. She then proceeded to have sex with me. Who is the bday boy again?
Tequilla is a sneaky bitch ninja that doesn't kick in until you least expect it. Then BAM! You're peeing in unconventional places.
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
Randomize
