The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
I'm now in all their contact lists as "Pee-Pee Hands"...
He bought me a pink rose and a Plan B. I really like this guy.
i tried to climb in the window in the limo because i wanted the driver to take me to get noodles. ive reached a new level of fat kid
Throwing up in the car while my mom drives, sister holds the bag & my dad holds my hair. This is how my family bonds.
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
didn't realize her mom was home while we were fucking, but she's oddly okay with it. she made us food afterwards. but then kept talking about having grand kids the whole time. is it time to bail?
ON A SIMILAR NOTE MY DICK SIZE PSYCHIC SKILLS ARE SO GOOD
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
I had a dream I got back with Amanda. And then cheated on her the same day. Even my conscious is a dick
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
I love friends. Friendship is wonderful. I wish the rain was my friend
Had a job interview today. Walked into the room and said "IT'S GO TIME, BITCHES".
And, by “make you dinner” I mean “have lots of sex and multiple orgasms.” So you should probably eat something and before you come over
And hydrate too
Randomize
