You know that restaurant that is like over by home depot?
That shitty one? I heard the food sucks there
It's my parent's restaurant
If that was your dad, he is hot
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
I'm confused about why you felt the need to ask me to buy you life alert for christmas at 3:28 this morning.
Uh, do you remember who's thong is in my tree?
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
I just brought the toaster out onto the porch to light a cigarette, don't talk to me about being desperate.
yeah that's what i said...you fucked him and peed on his comforter
yeah well...Like any great yacht, I leave a wake
I tried to roll down the stairs in a ball. I have bruises, the pain is too much.
What the fuck, why would you ever do that?
Haven't you ever just wanted to be a ball?
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
I just stole a bunch of balloons from a birthday party and am giving one to each person at the bar.
I just traded a couple nudes for pizza delivery. Call me lazy, easy, or an entrepreneur, but either way I'll have dominoes in 15 minutes.
You'll love it there. Trust me. Cheap tequila, pretentious beer, tall white guys who will treat you badly. Its got everything you like.
He totally just went there for sex cuz he slept in her roommates bed the rest of the night after they were done...
pure definition of booty call.
he went down on me and a few minutes later he asked to show me a magic trick. then he pulled a quarter out of my vagina
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