Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
She's like the female version of the Momento guy. She keeps forgetting that I'm an asshole after we have sex.
ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
My brother brings gifts into my room to wrap them. It's a pizza cutter and a box of condoms..
A cab driver remembered me by name, address, and ex fuck buddys nick name from a year ago. I mustve been one memorable shit show.
The Wii Fit is already telling me I'm an alcoholic.
I had to take the fire extinguisher from him. He was just sitting on the floor petting it.
You insisted on calling your mixture of Bacardi & powdered milk "a Jamacian Facial."
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
I'm starting to think I didn't bring enough liquor for this family Christmas.
It's 2 pm....
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.
dude, there is no doorman in your lobby and the front door is locked
oh yeah, sorry he's up here at the party. coming now
whatever, tonight I’ll be getting my ass eaten by an aussie so we good
Plus he probably didn't want to be at home, alone... Jacking off on the big screen without you there to lend a helping hand. I mean, let's be honest. It's not fun if it's not a little weird.
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