Kanye's agent is the only person whose job sucks worse than mine.
the whole city is out of plan b pills. this is the meanest game of musical chairs ever.
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
He rubs his penis on back when he think I'm sleeping
do you know how hard it is to walk a mile drunk on 151 it's hard yards are soft and every girl looks good
I swear to Christ if it turns out to be an intervention, i will set you on fire.
As your attorney I advise you to rage rapidly
I just imagined myself as R2-D2 and you as C3P0 walking around the Vegas desert looking for alcohol
I'm pretty sure NORMAL roommates don't have to hide each others sex toys from their fuck buddies.
You kicked my dad IN THE NUTS right when he walked in.
Sorry, man. Thought he was a cop.
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
i think you might have coined the term "slightly awkward pyromania"
I have been adopted by a clan of drunken skinny dipping tourists.
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
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