We're like a lot better than the average bears
He cooked the food on a paper plate in the oven.
I'm starving. my midnight snack, aka a teaspoon of cum, isn't holding me over
imagine if the morning after your status automatically updated with the name of the person you hooked up with
Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
He'll choke me during sex but he won't eat a strip of bacon. Vegetarians are weird.
Anne I just took two ambiens. I think my body is melting into my blow up bed. Like a stick of butter just slowly melting. And I'm alright. Don't be afraid. I'll be alright.
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
Whatever she smells like compost and feathers.
I believe they call that patchouli.
my brain is opting to stay half drunk rather than relearn how to think. the rest of me is in no position to argue.
I'm high and reading a Wikipedia article on circumcision procedure. Help.
You only have to pretend to care about soccer until July. HE'S PRETTY DONT RUIN THIS.
From the bottom of my heart, thanks for never sending me unsolicited dick picks.
It makes my nipple hurt just thinking about it.
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