Excuse me? I'm weird? You're the one sticking your penis into a pringles can.
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
Your my favorite hello and hardest goodbye.
And I especially mean that last part, half the time you pass out somewhere and it is impossible to get you to leave.
I really wanna punch him. Right in his cell-phone-sized penis
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
Just had a flashback of you announcing "your nipples aren't that big for the size of your boobs, I've seen them"
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
I think we should have realized the night was going to be nuts when it started with a bum dying in front of my house.
Me and the guy at the liquor store are on a first name basis, college is all about networking.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
8===D
That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me.
Seriously, even though I keep it clean, I could douse it in bleach and set it on fire and still not be comfortable with you actually holding it. It's been in my VAGINA.
Sockward: that moment during sexytimes when you realize your socks are still on and you have no idea how to remove them in a non-awkward fashion.
The dick pic bandit just sent me a poem about showering..
I wanted to make my beer stronger so I poured vodka in it. Why god....why
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