Every night before bed, when I used to say prayers, now I just think to myself 'freshman sluts. Soon'
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
i never thought it was possible to fit gay, redneck and asian into the same sentence before i met you.
and this wasn't even the first one i'd hooked up with
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
I just showered sitting down with a sippy cup of water in there with me. It took 40 minutes. That hungover.
Your message cut off at "shit on the floor". Your life is incredible.
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
You know you're sufficiently drunk when the 411 dude just says, "Fuck it! I'll Google that shit for you, what movie do you want to see?" and proceeds to give you showtimes for 3 different theatres.
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
It's Christmas, you should know what a virgin is.
So last night was the first of "I got cut off before I walked in the bar".
you took my virginity. you can't have my alcohol too.
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
What is the best medium with which to say, "Happy Birthday, I'm having your abortion"... Cake? Card?
Randomize
