How was your sisters wedding?
Oh, I didn't go. I slept through my alarm. I finally woke up and was like...I don't think so.
sisterhood ftl.
I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
reason #14 for loving my boobs...just got out of a 40mph over the limit speeding ticket thru a work zone. i dont think the cop knew i even had a face
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was so high I thought there were pigeons in my room. Long story short there are now donut crumbs all around my bedroom.
the girl walking home behind me started yelling and pointing "i want an ass like hers!" i feel vaguely accomplished.
I think I found out what we're going be for Halloween....Alcohol poisoning victims.
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
May the one with the liver that just won't quit win
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Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
I just made cupcakes.... Vodka icing. Results in the morning.
Was there a condom involved? Because he was saying he wanted a kid. Repeatedly.
I'm gonna eat you out. But for science
The number of threesomes I have agreed to seems to increase every time I talk to you drunk...
Were not even through the second month of the year and I potentially may have torpedoed a marriage...
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