maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
this wart on my finger ripped off while i was fingering this girl the other night. she thought she had gotten her period and started crying so i went with. its better for both of us that way
Whatever my ex gf's roomates talked shit about me so I jizzed in their shampoo bottle one night
she was on her period so I asked if she wanted to make ass babies
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
Do you think it would be a good idea to mention in my admissions essay that I was the guy that streaked across the soccer field last year?
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already.
I now own a bag of cigarettes and have no purse, awesome
so, i guess i gotta chill on showing up to work hungover... someone anonymously left a bible in my work mailbox (no one else got one)
I'm a great relationship counselor. My vagina will let you know if your relationship is gonna work or not.
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
WHY DID HE INTRODUCE ME TO HIS MOM? CAN'T HE JUST HIDE ME LIKE EVERYONE ELSE I'VE EVER DATED?@!
I ate too many pot brownies and passed out topless with my boobs painted like the American flag
Randomize
