Dude I got a text from you at 1:30 last night and you didn't use any vowels
Haha, I didn't want to buy any... we're in a recession you know
aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
He is offering to pay me back by sending me a dick pic.
.......................................
My thoughts exactly.
I know she was blacked out, but she looked directly at the toilet and said "we meet again"
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
I'm soaked in champagne. I'm eating oatmeal from mcdonalds tonight was glorious
Can we put your name for the shipping address for penis ice luge?
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
I went commando last night, then accidentally flashed a police van...They acknowledged it.
I messaged him asking for his address. He replied with the address then said, "If you're gonna stalk me, I'm the third window on the side and usually get naked around 8am and anytime randomly after 6pm (listen for music).. If you're sending anthrax, I'm 6'2" 225lbs so send a good amount."
I got into a fight with the dude who fell asleep on my couch bc he wouldn't wake up but managed to get a lunch date set for thurs with another guy by the time he finally left. So how's your day so far?
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
I don't know who's idea it was to get wine for a frat party but my poor pitiful hung over self really fucking hates them.
HILY FUCK HES HERE I HAVE MONISTAT IN ME HE SUPRISED ME
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
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