idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
I was gonna make fun of her but that plan kinda stopped once she put my dick in her mouth
I think I'm going to inject the gummy vitamins with vodka
I'm glad you're using your medical degree for some good for once
So he told me he didn't have a condom, paused, and then said "so, pulling out" and tried to high five me.
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
Puked up what appears to be battery acid next to the treadmill. Everyone noticed.
Oh, and i love you too. Im just a selfish dick who had to talk about myself first
Please. That's just a patriotism boner. I watched Michael phelps win another medal and had to change my underwear.
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
Just walk of shamed past a 5 year old on my way out of my booty call. He waved at me. Is this the single life I've been missing?
not sure if actually covered in glitter or just drunk
why is there a shopping cart in my back seat? and a dick drawn on the side of my car?
He showed up to my apt at 6am wearing a suit and holding a bag of coke....how could I not let him in?
LACE UP YOUR GODDAMN SHOES
N O
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